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War of Deities: Discussion Edition


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#1 Zane Kamanako Oldies Executioner of Dark World. 5376 posts 5.00 XCB

Zane Kamanako
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Posted 02 February 2017 - 02:14 PM

Let me lead of with no, I havent forgotten about my fic and I have every intention of completing it. However, between school and a lack of motivation when Im able to (damn you gamer instincts!) all Ive done is think about a few key points I need to change. This is where I need MBP to come take a look, since he had specific desires for his character that I screwed up in her intro, but I'm still running them by here in the open to get opinions. Feel free to read what I have (its in my signature) and compare to my listed edits here as well as to give me some ideas you have that you'd like to see implemented.

 

As for what I have, let me lead off with the largest plot change: The interaction between my character (Zane, for newer people no its not an ego thing. I just throw around the username as many things, my real name is something much different and less cool) and Erisa. I made a sacrifice of character expectations in a bit of a rushed exposition by revealing more than I needed to right away and made errors on how to establish feelings between characters. What I intend to change is that her goals are more specific: shes looking for the money to continue the mining operation to unearth Gungnir and Trishula. That's why she goes to the arena, and then seeing what Zane was capable of compared to her novice level abilities she goes for the magic cheapshot, which fails due to multiple reasons and he gives her the money anyways after he wins. She's challenged by the Cultists, dialogue of which will be changed to make them more natural, and Zane still steps in to help however I intend to have Erisa go full out and display skill without hindrance by way of Zane. The ending, however, remains the same but I have some ideas of how to describe the feeling of summoning Dreadroot from Zanes view much better. She warns him of what they do to people, he brushes it off with a morbid-ish statement.

 

As for Erisa's main plot point, the freeing of the Ice Barrier Dragons, I've figured a better way to make it the primary goal while including her in the gathering process. When she frees Gungnir and Trishula, she realizes Trishula might be there spiritually but mentally the mighty dragon is vacant. I still intend to have a different personality per head, however Gungnir or the mysterious figure manipulating everyone (its obvious by intro 3 or 4) explains that during the events of the War that caused the dragons to expend their energies to defeat the Egyptian Gods Trishula sacrificed itself to make sure Gungnir and Brionac got away because said gods may have lost but they werent going alone. In the fight its mind was ripped into its 3 segments, might name each personality but not sure yet and even then Im still as horrid with names as ever, and each god took one with it when they were locked away. Mysterious figure reveals his offer and convinces her to gather the gods to reunite Trishula while having her duel him for Obelisk. Obelisk will have a voice and will be vocal, however fitting of his visual build he's not going to be the talkative type and will be more assertive than explanatory. Havent worked out a personality for Slifer yet, but Ra is likely to be one of wisdom being the head god. Open to possibilities, though.

 

As for the final thought that crossed my mind, a new Dark Worlder for Zane to utilize. He's lacking a full name as well as atk and def stats, plus I have no image in mind yet, but I think Ive developed a decent effect for its purposes since I realized Latinum was a 6 star.

 

___, Accuser/Prosecutor/Inquisitor of Dark World (cant decide which ones better!)

 

Dark Fiend, 4 stars, atk: ?  def: ?

 

Effect: When this card was discarded from the hand by a card effect: If it was discarded by an opponent's card effect, target one Dark World monster in your grave; special summon this card and any targeted cards (if able) in defense position. If this card was special summoned by the effect of a Dark World card: increase the level of every Dark World monster special summoned by that card by 1. If this card was used to xyz or tribute summon a Dark World monster, the summoned monster gains the following effect: While this monster is face-up on the field, it gains 500 atk.

 

My main goal was to get a monster that could make itself 5 stars but in case of emergencies could be played, and I thought of how to implement it while thinking of the effect wording of Ceruli and Snoww. I came up with the other idea so I could reduce the bs luck it took for him to summon Blakk as much as possible, since Im not changing his overall effect or his requirement of 4 level 5 Dark World monsters. The last part was because since I wanted to name it after something related to a corrupt court official I wanted it to give Blakk something (think of the boost as a bribe) to put the proceedings in its favor.

 

All of this is open for debate, and Im open to hear any new ideas people want to throw at me. Im keeping the original characters and not adding anymore, but with whats been established Im open for commentary and ideas to improve the story.


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#2 Jesse Team XC Head Admin 5501 posts 424.00 XCB

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Posted 02 February 2017 - 03:40 PM

Well, I don't mind what happens to MBP's character. Perhaps you can just go with what you feel is right? In the end, it's your story, and everyone backs your decisions to progress the story how you like.

 

Also, I vote for Inquisitor. Pretty cool name.


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#3 Zane Kamanako Oldies Executioner of Dark World. 5376 posts 5.00 XCB

Zane Kamanako
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Throne of The Archfiend Palabyrinth
  • Interests:Video Games, Yugioh, and many other things.
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Posted 02 February 2017 - 06:11 PM

I was in agreeance with MBP when I started it, then my inexperience showed as I tried to do it but screwed up massively. I was also thinking the same thing, but Im also drawing a blank on what color to base its name on. Not being an artist really hurts my ability to name Dark Worlders lol

 

 

Edit: Talked to girlfriend about color options (Shes an art major, so I figured I'd ask her for some ideas) and one of the ones she listed that I liked was Amethyst. The others I liked were Magenta and Violet, but Amethyst was the one I liked most. Keeping the fact that Graphite is both a mineral and a color I see Amethyst as a valid choice with the potential to make an epic name. Just gotta convert it to standard Dark World styling...


Edited by Zane Kamanako, 02 February 2017 - 07:26 PM.

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#4 kyros27 Oldies Spewer of over 4000 Posts! 4529 posts 185.00 XCB

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Posted 03 February 2017 - 07:07 PM

Jade works as well though Amethyst is better imo

You could also make the new creature a girl!


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#5 Zane Kamanako Oldies Executioner of Dark World. 5376 posts 5.00 XCB

Zane Kamanako
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Throne of The Archfiend Palabyrinth
  • Interests:Video Games, Yugioh, and many other things.
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Posted 06 February 2017 - 07:26 PM

Jade works as well though Amethyst is better imo

You could also make the new creature a girl!

Amethyst it is, and I was already thinking of making it a female card since Dark Worlders have... what, Snoww and thats it?


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