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I'm bored, d00d.

bleh

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#1 Gardevoir Oldies Rawr 611 posts 31.00 XCB

Gardevoir
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Posted 20 January 2015 - 11:07 AM

It's been a really long time since I've bothered to post anything of actual meaning anywhere on the internet. Since I last posted the "yes" above this post, I have gone through many sucky things in my life, and until recently, nothing was going my way. I ruined some friendships but made other ones (which turned out to have been made only on false pretenses), I had lots of internal struggles, I've been injured a few times, etc. It's not all bad, though. Something good happened in my life at the beginning of this year, but before I get to that, I want to vent. 

 

1. Burning bridges

 

So... I don't know how many of you know (but I'm sure some people on XC have guessed at it), but for a good while, I was (for lack of a better word) a nympho. It was an actual thing I was addicted to. Admittedly, it made for some really fun times but it also led to some of the worst moments of my life. In the span of about a year, thanks to my love of lewdness:

 

- I lost a very very good friend

- I almost leaped into an early grave

- I made it so that a LOT of people (both online and in person) either don't respect me or straight-out harass me

 

I've been focusing on ridding myself of that curse. I don't do the things I used to do anymore. I still get urges, but I'm either ignoring them or releasing them on my own somewhere. Even now I've had moments of weakness where I almost broke down. It's going to be a really hard road, giving up something you really like always is. 

 

If I wanted to make excuses, I could say it's probably not my fault for being a nymphomaniac. As some of you know, I was raped a few years back. I'm sure there's probably something in my subconscious that connects that and the nympho stuff but since I'm not a shrink, I don't know. Either way, it's not like I shouldn't be able to control myself, it's not like I'm that weak-willed or anything. 

 

But yeah... Because of my mistakes, I don't have too many friends now. To be honest, I never really did have many friends (which is why I spend like all of my free time in chats), but most of the friends I've made online are gone now. It's been a lesson learned the most hard way possible. I still garner a great deal of respect in the business world, but outside of a professional setting, I'm pretty much disliked by everyone. I don't blame anyone but myself, though, since I gave them reason to treat me like bleh. 

 

2. I'm a cat, apparently

 

Last year, I got fed up with living such a terrible life so I decided it'd be nice to rid people of my existence. My bedroom is on the second floor of my house, and my house is already pretty high up. There's also a pool near my window. I figured I'd jump out of my window and land in the pool just to see what would happen. I didn't care if I missed the pool or not, I didn't want to live anymore anyway. I jumped and did indeed land in the pool. 

 

Half of me did, anyway.

 

The other half got totally destroyed. Broken ribs, bruises, messed up my knee, my head got pretty beaten up, etc. I wish I had died. I must be some sort of cat though. Anyway, the whole thing left me alive but immobile for a few weeks. My casts got really itchy and all I could say to myself every time I felt pain or an itch or an urge to go outside was "you deserve worse". 

 

3. Depression

 

So because of the sort of life I've been living for the past 3 years or so, I've grown depressed. I'm basically the way I was back in middle school now. I'm the emo kid again that everyone picked on, except this time, I gave them reason to pick on me. 

 

But anyway, people who care about me for some reason have noticed I'm significantly less cheerful. I almost never leave the house unless it's for work or to get food. It's gotten better as of late, but eh. Every time I think of why I'm depressed, I think of people who have it way worse than I do and I think to myself, "your depression is nothing". From a neutral, third-person view, it really is nothing. However, it's hell for anyone going through it, and that actually helps me cheer up a tiny bit. 

 

4. Something good

 

As of December 30, I have improved a great deal. I'm starting to feel cheerful again and I've managed to keep my sexual urges repressed with ease. This is largely because of what's probably the best thing to ever happen in my life. 

 

My best friend since I was 4 (and my boyfriend for months now) and I are getting married. I'll be a Mega Gardevoir soon.

 

It's something I've been daydreaming of ever since Fran brought it up a good while back. I've kind of played scenarios in my head, but I always convinced myself that they were nothing but fantasies. I've also been friendzoned before by him [:'(], but things happen I guess. Anyway, he's the main reason why I still exist. He makes me happy in a way that no one else can. Thanks to him, I'm pretty much back to normal. I owe everything to him. 

 

Aside from that, I'm also getting back into the swing of things with YGO and Pokemon. I'm going to tourneys again, learning the metas, and so on. Right now I'm buying the stuff to make an Infernoid deck (since I can always just borrow Burning Abyss and Qlililililiramalamadingdongs from friends - there's no point in making a deck we already have); I'm also preparing my Pokemon team for the new VGC season (which I like a lot, since it lets me use things like Cresselia for Helping Hand fun) and am looking forward to entering a VGC tourney this February. 

 

...I started writing this feeling really morose. Thinking back on some of the positive stuff has made me smile. 

 

I'm still very sad and I still regret many of the things I've done in recent times. I won't apologize to the people I've hurt however because words mean nothing. Instead, I will bear the guilt for the rest of my life as a reminder never to be a horrible person again. I know I've left a sour taste on pretty much all of XC's mouths and nothing will change that. I'm not looking for forgiveness, and those who are willing to forgive me should probably reconsider. I'd just like to let people know that I'm doing everything in my power to be a good person now. 

 

I don't like to end things so negatively, so I'll end on a lighter note. If anyone reading this is willing to help me out with Infernoids and things like what people are siding these days and so on, please PM me or add me on Skype (gardyvoira). In addition, if anyone wants to talk to me for any reason at all, there's the aforementioned Skype, PMs on here, and Pokemon Showdown (Gardy Voira), where I usually go when I have free time. 

 

My hope is to have many positive and fun experiences to share with the remainder of XC. I want to bring good vibes wherever I go.

 

bleh


Edited by Gardevoir, 20 January 2015 - 11:10 AM.

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#2 Yami Stomach Oldies Wut 9468 posts 690.00 XCB

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Posted 20 January 2015 - 12:20 PM

i dont know enough about you to say anything but i do know one thing

 

The past cannot be changed, but you can always work toward a better future


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#3 Imadjinn Oldies Needs a life 501 posts 64.00 XCB

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Posted 20 January 2015 - 01:15 PM

x


Edited by Imadjinn, 17 September 2017 - 03:26 PM.

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#4 Gardevoir Oldies Rawr 611 posts 31.00 XCB

Gardevoir
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Posted 20 January 2015 - 08:18 PM

Your face is a huh, huh-face.


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#5 Imadjinn Oldies Needs a life 501 posts 64.00 XCB

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Posted 21 January 2015 - 03:14 AM

x


Edited by Imadjinn, 17 September 2017 - 03:26 PM.

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#6 L o t u s Oldies Bitch I Might Be 1735 posts 188.00 XCB

L o t u s
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Posted 07 February 2015 - 12:03 AM

Congratulations.  I see all.


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#7 Gardevoir Oldies Rawr 611 posts 31.00 XCB

Gardevoir
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:CA
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Posted 16 February 2015 - 09:40 PM

I shall now tell XC a tale of excitement, training, bodily injury, booze, and zombies.

 

It begins at my house on Friday.

 

So my friends, my fiance, and I were talking about how bored we were. We had finished all our important stuff for the week and so we had nothing to do. I was messing around on my phone, looking at /vp/ to see if anything of interest was being talked about; my fiance and his friends were doing what they always do - punching each other, playing Yu-Gi-Oh, and being all-around goofballs. It was pretty ordinary until I reached a thread on /vp/ talking about a VGC regional on Saturday. I told my fiance, and he immediately said something along the lines of "screw our Valentine's date, I need to SR for my Suicune NOW!" I agreed wholeheartedly, since I don't care at all about Valentine's Day and, more importantly, he's been slacking off on his team building. Bad fiance. Bad.

 

So while he's off resetting for a perfect Bold Suicune, I'm talking with friends about possible team building. Being the responsible Pokemon master that I am, I already had like 100 VGC-ready Pokemon ready to go. A friend was all "I really need a Tailwind Zapdos" (which was like the one thing I didn't have. I mean I do have many perfect Zapdi, but none knew Tailwind since Tailwind is a ORAS tutor move and my Zapdi were in my Y), so I pwn'd a bunch of noobs in the Battle Maison to get the BP necessary for teaching a Zapdos Tailwind (if none of that made sense to you, I feel bad for you). Anyway, I wound up providing everyone with things they needed. We were all ready for Saturday.

 

Except not.

 

So my genius friends decided to forget their DSs. We had absolutely nothing to do at the event. All we did was walk around for a while and leave, since it was way too depressing watching other people have fun. I figured I might as well do something while there though, so I bought a full-art Archie's Ace in the Hole because I want to use Primal Kyogre. Anyway, the rest of our Saturday consisted of us watching Borat at my house and me watching my friends pass out. I couldn't sleep so I just stayed up all night talking to people on Skype. 

 

I fell asleep like at around 6 AM but was woken up at 7 by everyone. They wanted to go back to the VGC place for day 2 of the event but I was like "ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh brainsssssssss". I hadn't slept all night and I was dead. In a moment of clarity though, I remembered that we had a hardcore show to go to after day 2 of the VGC, so I showered and put on the least revealing things I own because of all the weirdos at this particular VGC - fat ugly socially inept neckbeards as far as the eye could see. I spent most of the time there leaning against my fiance and trying to sleep, but of course people kept talking about stupid crap. No, motherfucker, M-Gardevoir does NOT, in fact, get priority Substitute. Who the tits uses Substitute on Gardevoir anyway? Ugh. And on top of that, some genius Traced Chlorophyll with his Gardevoir but decided to Mega Evolve instead of taking advantage of M-Charizard Y's Drought. Friggen noobs. So after a long day's worth of bleh, we drove back and dropped everyone off at their houses. We took like 2 hours to change and get ready for the show. We picked everyone up again and headed over to LA. 

 

I have to point this out: I hate LA. The whole drive there, I felt like we were driving in Arkham City. There were dilapidated buildings everywhere, dirty streets, and the pungent odor of piss and hobo. There were also a LOT of Silent Hill-ass hobos just standing in the darkness, facing away from everyone. I half-expected to hear "It's the friggen Bat!" in the distance. Anyway, we get to the venue and buy our tickets. We were hungry, so we walked around looking for food. We had parked inside the nastiest valet place ever so we couldn't just drive. I swear, the air in LA is unbreathable. Hobo funk, piss, cigarettes, and beer were assaulting my nostrils. Everywhere I went, the smell followed. Even when we passed high-end restaurants, etc, the smell persisted. Why do people even make food around here? Like who smells a hobo and goes "gee, that sure made me hungry! Better spend like 20 bucks on a sandwich"? We eventually just ate some pizza and headed back to the place and went inside.

 

Now for the fun part.

 

The bands were all setting up. The merch table was almost empty still, so there wasn't anything worth buying yet. We walked over to a place close to the stage and waited. I felt a bunch of nostalgia 'cause I hadn't been to a show in 666 years and cause I very rarely get to dress the way I did. I was in my ye olde punke clothes and I felt great. So it's pretty quiet, it's just a bunch of people talking. Then out of nowhere, the drums started going off. I looked up and a band was about to play. Those drums, mmmmmmmmmmmm... I love drums, drums rok my sox. Anyway, it was the first song by the first band so people weren't really doing much of anything, just moving their heads. I thought the band was pretty good. So then another band comes on after them, and people have like a tiny pit going on, nothing exciting yet. I was mostly just leaning up against my fiance with his arms around me the whole time (inside I was like :3 all the while). So after that band played, things got quiet again.

 

Then Lord Gold got on stage to plug in his keyboard.

 

Everyone erupted in cheers, including me. We all started chanting at the top of our lungs: "HORSE THE BAND!" Everyone was losing their minds. The band starts playing the first song and people are finally starting a pit. My fiance and his friends ran over to the pit and started moshing. After like 10 seconds, I went in too. 

 

If you haven't been to a show, or if you haven't been in a pit, let me describe it for you:

 

A lot of tall, bulky dudes are moving in a circle in one direction, shoving each other as hard as they can. Some are punching the air, others are headbanging, and some are going up on stage to dive off. It's a great time. 

 

So anyway, this fat guy gets up on stage to dive off, does a backflip, and gets caught by the crowd. As he's coming down, though. I get a knee to the face. I got hit like right under my eye. It didn't really hurt all that much at the time though because I was pretty adrenaline'd. Anyway, everyone's losing their minds to Horse The Band at this point. People are diving off, throwing their shoes at the singer (who then picked them up and smelled them before tossing them back), giving the singer a dollar (which he then licked and shoved down his pants until a groupie fished it out), and admiring Lord Gold while he was rocking out and playing the keyboard. I was flailing around, thinking all the time how I probably punched the shit out of someone, when one of the roadies got out this huge bottle of rum and started pouring it all over the crowd. It was nuts, people were shoving each other to get close enough to drink some. I got a bunch of it on my arm, which wound up smelling like Listerine and cinnamon after the show. 

 

Anyway, the show ended like at around midnight. Bruised, exhausted, and covered in rum, we made our way back to the car. We drove off and everyone started talking. About what, I can't tell you, because I passed out like as soon as my butt touched the seat. I hadn't slept since Friday, remember? Anyway, we get to my house and drag ourselves to the nearest soft thing we can find. We slept like we never slept before.

 

This brings us to like 3 hours ago. 

 

I woke up today at 3 PM with a bruise on my face and really sore joints. I ate something, got massaged by my love, then got on my computer to Skype and tell you people about my weekend. 

 

TL;DR version of my weekend, in chronological order:

 

- Woke up, worked, was bored

- Everyone goes to a VGC that no one entered

- Buy a card, go home, stay up all night

- Go back to the VGC, do nothing

- Go home, change, drive around inside a Batman game

- Go to a show, get kneed in the face, wild out, get booze on my arm

- Amble my way to a car

- Get home, pass out on top of the hubby

- Get up, eat, massage

- Post my day on XC

 

Weekends should always be this much fun. If you guys are fans of punk, metal, etc., you should really consider going to shows if you don't already. It's almost always a good time. 

 

I hope you guys had a great weekend too. 


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#8 Imadjinn Oldies Needs a life 501 posts 64.00 XCB

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Posted 17 February 2015 - 02:20 PM

x


Edited by Imadjinn, 17 September 2017 - 03:25 PM.

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#9 Gardevoir Oldies Rawr 611 posts 31.00 XCB

Gardevoir
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Posted 17 February 2015 - 11:10 PM

Try doing something different, or something that you've always wanted to do but never actually done. When I have nothing coming up, I think of things I haven't done yet and I do them. It can make for interesting weekends.


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