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-Beyond Wonderland. [Do What Scares You..]


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#41 Wylde Ancient One Supertramp 4061 posts 9.00 XCB

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Posted 08 February 2012 - 08:12 PM

Rough Roads Hardly Smooth Out

Sitting here in the hospital room spending the nights by my brothers side I wonder to myself what happens next.

Since the moment my brother entered the hospital it seems as if a shit storm of more and more problems have occurred. An 18 year old girl that works with my mother had her little sister killed in an accident, another one of her coworkers had her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend killed in a car accident which left behind a 3 year old girl. One of the sisters to this daughter who died was a good friend of my brothers. Another accident on the interstate hospitalized a classmate of my brothers and this kids cousin was killed. Also at my mothers work another coworker's wife had a stroke and was pronounced brain dead the other day.. This all had happened in a 5 day span by the way. I suppose when things get bad then things just keep getting worse. Also keep in mind that where my mom works is a very small group of 20 people.

My brother has lost most of his cognitive thinking and some motor skills. He gets very angry and frustrated not understanding what has happened to him and often crying when awake. It's tough to see a kid like this in the condition he's in, especially being your brother. I seem to have a lot of time on my hands now as he's often being sedated. I suppose XC is always an option to fill some of my time but also have been reading more like 'On The Road' by Jack Kerouac and even continue writing the book I've begun. Also since I've dedicated all of my time to this I may be moving to Baltimore or even Denver for my brothers continuing therapy. Maybe I'll have to make a visit or two to some XC members? Haha so we'll see..
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#42 Wylde Ancient One Supertramp 4061 posts 9.00 XCB

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Posted 18 February 2012 - 11:00 PM

Killing Time

I've had a lot of time on my hands as of late, which you may be able to tell, and so I decided to buy myself a Nintendo DS and bought Pokemon White to relive the glory years of childhood when I would spend endless days playing Red, Blue, Green, And Yellow. I've just begun and it seems to be just about the same as the old ones but we'll see how it goes.

I've also been sleeping at the hospital by my brother's side and spending 24/7 with him. This has given me plenty of time to meet all of the nursing staff. x] Think I may have met my future wife, though just as I was going to ask for her number my brother was carted off to a different hospital. I did let her know I'd be back to thank them when I could so I may have another chance. I've also met plenty of other nurses at this new hospital. My mom keeps trying to tell me that this isn't a dating service for me but I see all of it as opportunity. There's a lot of good looking nurses here and they're here all night. =] Which all of this has come to a benefit for my brother also since the nurses tend to be around him more often and help him out as I chit chat with them. He gets better care, I get to flirt and see what happens. It's a win win in my book.

Other then that nothing has been happening. I pretty much live in a hospital now and it's not so bad once you get used to it. My days are usually busy helping my brother out in therapy sessions and eating but when he sleeps I go crazy with nothing to do but wander the halls aimlessly. This is why there has been a spike of activity for me on XC. XC has always been the best place to kill time and meet up with old friends and find new friends. I suppose I'll be 80 and still coming to visit XC and see how everyone is doing, just another family to me, a virtual family.
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#43 Wylde Ancient One Supertramp 4061 posts 9.00 XCB

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 12:29 AM

Rants and Ideas


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XC Activity Ideas:
On another note, I’ve been given a lot of time as of recently and with that time I’ve had quite a bit of ideas come to my mind to spark activity and enjoyment here at XC. To name just a few..

- XC Hall of Fame
5 or less members of XC will be voted into the XC HoF during the XC Awards. (Still thinking of the best way to choose who will be on the ballot with members having to fill a certain criteria i.e. Longevity, Activity, Contributions, etc.) I would then compile a biography of each member detailing their time here at XC whether it may still be continuing or no longer active won’t matter. These threads would then be locked for people to just view or may be kept upon for people to put their memories of said member (though constant patrol of spam will be needed and will not be tolerated, it’s for the HoFer not those talking about random things) It seems simple enough if I can get enough information from various friends that knew the person and since I’ve been around since the beginning I’ll usually know everyone to an extent.

- Poetry/Short Story Contests
This is basically stemming off of Mana’s idea for a SotW contest and maybe she’ll want to do this also but having weekly poetry contests and monthly short story contests could bring a lot more activity to a once very lively space on XC. Incentives would obviously be rewards and could also be inserted for XC awards for the next year. Examples of contests would be given an intro and going from there. Giving the writer a plot or character and moving on from there. Even saying it must be about a certain season or place. This will not only spark activity and fun from the writers but also help with creativity for everyone to become better writers.

- XC Beauty Pageant/Costume Contest/etc.
This can spark activity and put an image to the names we all know on this board and possibly bring this community together even closer. For some of the old members I have on FaceBook and talk to on AIM still, they’ve become like family (that’s what happens after almost a decade of being here). These random contests and such will add a closer and more lively community to these boards.


All of these ideas are coming to me from knowing that XC is not just a YGO forum anymore. It was a big topic years ago that XC was somewhat trailing off from YGO and that some people thought once YGO died so would XC. These ideas are to prevent that yet still have YGO as a main focal point for new members.

I really wish to see some of these ideas implemented here at XC and as of now I do have the time to do this. I would love to get this all started as soon as I can but I’ll need to talk to DB and others about it first. I suppose if others feel more qualified to do it then I’d be more then happy to hand it over. Personally I just want to see XC alive and full as it once was and with these ideas I think it will be as long as there is participation.

Any thoughts or ideas are more then welcome here.
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#44 DarkBlaze557 Retired Administrator :/ 12822 posts 100.00 XCB

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 09:28 AM

I like those ideas. The poetry/story contests can begin any time. Same with the costume contests and such. The Hall of Fame would require some deliberation amongst the higher-ups.

How long do you think you'll be active for again? I understand your current circumstances and how they can change at the drop of a hat, but before I give anyone responsibility around here, I have to be able to predict their reliability.
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#45 Wylde Ancient One Supertramp 4061 posts 9.00 XCB

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Posted 23 February 2012 - 01:04 PM

As of now I'll have full internet access at the hospital and time until late March yet this can change at any point, depending on my brothers recovery and need of the hospital. I'm getting a house to live with my brother since he'll need 24 hour care for quite awhile and this will also give me plenty of time since he won't necessarily need to be watched over constantly. I'm looking into getting internet there right now actually so I'll have access to XC. I'm also looking into taking online classes while I'm caring for my brother so I'll definitely be around the computer quite often. I think I'll be taking an initiative to be on XC more often now. This entire situation could last a long time (years possibly depending on his recovery) and these ideas and activity on XC will give me time to keep sane as an escape. I suppose if the HoF idea gets passed then I'll put the time and effort to see it through, nothing feels better then seeing an idea come into fruition.

Right now I'm still looking at more criteria for the HoF idea so it works the best possible way and can stick on XC for some time to come. I'll need to find a few older members who may know details of possible candidates to work in the HoF Bio and that will be able to work with me on this. Also possibly have a board (admins/mods/oldies) that nominates an X amount of members to be on the HoF Ballot. Voting then goes to decide which members are elected into the HoF during the XC Awards.

I suppose I'll talk to Mana about these contests for poetry and short stories and see if she wants to do them or if I could. Not sure if she had some of her own ideas for all of them since she did make the news post first and if that's the case I'll just feed her ideas as time goes on.

Edited by Wylde, 23 February 2012 - 01:05 PM.

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#46 ShadowDemon Retired Administrator Retired Administrator of XeroCreative 4944 posts 3.00 XCB

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Posted 17 March 2012 - 01:32 PM

Oh wow. I'm so sorry you, your brother, and your family are going through such a difficult struggle and hard times right now. I don't really know what to say other than how awesome it is of you to want to be around him and care for him all the time. It's a nice thing to hear, and not unexpected coming from you. I wish your brother all the best in his recovery!

<3 SD
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#47 Wylde Ancient One Supertramp 4061 posts 9.00 XCB

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Posted 26 March 2012 - 11:53 PM

I've missed you SD! Been a long while since I've seen you around here.

As for updates on..well, life.


Little brother is now no longer at the rehabilitation hospital and is now back home. He's made a remarkable recovery so far and we hope some day he'll be cleared entirely. I've assumed role as 24 hour caretaker for him and now live at home with my mom and him. It's very odd to even say that in the first place. I've never truly lived at my mom's house my entire life since growing up I've lived with my father and then on my own. Odd how terrible events can bring people together in stunning fashion. I suppose sometimes it's very true when they say there's always a silver lining. Right now though my brother has quite a bit of doctor's appointments to get checked to see how he's doing for their medical records back home. That's what we'll be doing for the next week at least until a therapy schedule is set up. I've been spending my days going through small therapy lessons with him and then fishing for hours in the sun with him. That feeling when you're out there enjoying a warm spring day by a pond and all worries and cares seem to evaporate away. It's always a calming effect to be alone in nature, frogs don't seem to judge you or care how you look, fish don't worry if you're living up to your potential, mosquitoes don't mind if you're staying healthy and free from addiction as long as your blood still tastes good.

Sitting out there the other day I thought to myself what I'll do if he keeps recovering this quickly. Quite soon there won't be a need for me here anymore and then what? Do I just pick up and leave once again? Move on to the next event in life? I have a lot of money coming my way come April 1st and I think I'll save it until my brother is 100% recovered. After that it's either west or over the pond for me, I've always wanted to see Europe in it's entirety and not just pieces here and there like before. Though there has always been a crying urge deep inside to buy some old motorcycle, bring a tent, and just go west. Sleep wherever I find a spot and keep going, see America for once in all it's aspects. A lot of this urge is do in part by the book 'On The Road' by Jack Kerouac. Which, if you haven't read yet, I strongly urge those to read and keep an open and free mind of it. I've always kept a journal that I wrote my travels in and I suppose this would be a great addition to it.

Other then that there's not much to write about as of now. I've looked into the Peace Corps recently and a few mission groups that travel around the world to see if I could get myself into those programs. I suppose it's a great way to see the world and do good for those less fortunate.

XC Award nominations are out and about. I should look through that and nominate a few people but I'm afraid most of the categories I have no clue what to do since I don't really know that many around here anymore.

As for the Poem and Short Story contests, well because of the move back home and having to settle in and all I was busy the past couple weeks. Now that I'm back I'll have time to jump back into things. I'll probably make the contests in hopes people will participate, we'll see how it turns out though.
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#48 DarkBlaze557 Retired Administrator :/ 12822 posts 100.00 XCB

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 08:47 AM

I'm glad you're brother's recovering well! That's a reason to celebrate right there! SD, get the beer!

As for the travelling - I've always wanted to travel Europe a bit myself, but probably not to the same extent that you do. There's so much history and culture there, it would be awesome. Biking across the US is a different thing all its own. It's definitely dangerous, and I'd hate to hear about you riding through some mountains, hitting a rock, and high-siding over a cliff or something. That would be no bueno. I'm actually buying a motorcycle myself, but I'm being extremely cautious about it - I took a safety/training course last weekend, am buying a smaller, less powerful bike, and I will not be taking it on a highway. It's just for commuting to and from work. Once you get out on the highway, you still have to deal with all the morons, but you have to do it at 80 MPH. I'd rather not take that risk, personally.

Anyway, if you find yourself out in my neck of the west, let me know. <3
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#49 ShadowDemon Retired Administrator Retired Administrator of XeroCreative 4944 posts 3.00 XCB

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Posted 10 April 2012 - 01:45 AM

So happy to hear good news about your brother man, I've been thinking about you both!
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#50 Wylde Ancient One Supertramp 4061 posts 9.00 XCB

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 01:21 AM

First and foremost I gotta thank both DB and SD here for the support these past couple of months. It's odd that after my brother had a brain injury (TBI) that I would meet random people who have either suffered the same thing or know of friends and family that have had brain injuries. The first night I dared to go out with friends after my brother was out of rehab and doing better I met a random girl who was in a severe car accident and suffered a brain injury. I talked to her through out the entire night about it all and how she came to terms with the incident and how she turned out. Not long after I was searching for a new apartment and talking to the landlord lady she told me how she also had a brain injury when younger and had to go through rehab and we talked about it for quite some time. National Brain Injury Awareness Day popped up one day on the radio while driving to work and if not for the events I wouldn't have given it a second thought. This and much more has given me a new awareness to the people around me and the stories we each hold inside. I've learned to listen a lot more to people and listen to everyone's story.

As for my brother, he's doing amazing. He no longer needs therapy of any sort and the neurologist has given him a clean bill of health and even stating that he never thought he would get to this point ever let alone in such a short time span. I still remember the day in the ICU when he told us that he couldn't see my brother ever being the same again. The accident occurred at 11:55pm on January 27th. I arrived at the ICU on January 28th and haven't left his side since other then the occasional day or two for work. Now it's almost been three months later and I can't believe how far he has come and how much it all has changed me. The entire incident has given me a new vigor in life. Where once I was just going through the motions and beginning to become stuck in a rut with the everyday monotony of life and now instead I'm out enjoying nature once again, being with family I haven't seen in far too long and enjoying it, and out helping the community with a passion. Ever since knowing he would be alright I haven't stopped smiling and enjoying life, which as corny as it may sound, I love every bit of it.

Through out the entire time I questioned myself and where I might have went wrong. How I haven't payed much attention to this side of the family since I grew up with my father my whole life. My two younger brothers have worshiped me in ways since they were babies and I've done nothing but come see them for a week or so once every two years. I abandoned my little sister as she went through rough times in life because I thought I was too busy trying to figure out my life when not realizing that my life is and has always been to help people, especially family. A few days ago my mom came to me with tears in her eyes to hug me and thank me for never breaking down and keeping everyone together while Tony was in the hospital. I sure as hell broke down many times but not in the sight of family or friends, knowing that I was someone they all looked at in desperation for answers. All of this made me realize how big of a part this dysfunctional family plays a role in my life and I in theirs. All things happen for reasons unknown. It's quite sad really that it took a brother to almost die for me to realize the importance of this family, my very own dysfunctional family.

I also came to terms with myself, not with what I wish to do some day (I don't think I ever will or ever will care to) but that while standing there next to Tony while in ICU I swore to myself if he could pull through such a horrifying car wreck and somehow survive against all odds that the least I could do is go back to school and finish it and begin to follow my dreams instead of putting them off. In the end he came out just as good as before and in incredible time. So I begin school once again this fall to finally go through what so many have told me I must finish. In three years I intend on leaving the military and joining the Peace Corp. for there three year stint. It's the least I can do try and help others less fortunate. It'll also be a great learning experience and a chance to see the world and do what I've always loved doing and that is simply helping others. I can't think of a more perfect life then that of one constantly helping people who need it the most. My spark towards nature and living on the land alone will always be there and I may need to feed that on occasion so I promised myself a trip of solitary self searching in the Northwest Territory or Alaska possibly. Something far away, secluded from the world. So much to do and so little time, our lives are ticking away one heartbeat at a time that there doesn't seem to be a second to waste sitting down. One must always stop, look back, and smile with what has all happened be it good or bad since all life is an experience after another.

So I begin work once again come Monday to fix 26 million dollar jets and will do this for the entire summer and building up a sizable checking account for school in the fall and a quick road trip from Sioux Falls, SD out to Yakima, WA to visit a friend who teaches close by and the grandparents that live there. Then I'll go down to San Diego, CA to visit a very good friend from high school who is now a marine and has been in Thailand the past three years and now lives in San Diego and then through Las Vegas, NV to visit another friend from high school, she's a pool waitress at one of the big hotel/clubs out there and has a roommate she wants me to meet. After that it's back to Sioux Falls, SD but before I'll be heading through Denver, CO to visit a cousin of mine who is a professional hydroplane racer (Go Jdub!). I think it's $700 exact in gas money but should be very fun and well worth the price.

I've also begun to take up the guitar once again and bought me a very nice acoustic guitar. Thinking I may even get a ukulele for some fun by the campfires this summer. Tomorrow I'm getting a tattoo of a Greek Orthodox cross on my left forearm with the words 'Memento Mori' on the right side of the cross and 'Sic Transit Gloria Mundi' on the left side of the cross (each phrase will be written from the top of the cross to the bottom). If I remember I'll post a picture or two on here and give a more detailed reasoning behind why I'm getting the tattoo and what it stands for and means to me personally. I always told myself that each and every tattoo I get will hold a very deep and symbolic reason to why I decided to get it. More so I story or personal belief that if ever asked about it I'll have the chance to share with someone.

This 'little' update has become far too long and now I'm ending it so until next time..
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#51 DarkBlaze557 Retired Administrator :/ 12822 posts 100.00 XCB

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 09:04 AM

Hit me up while you're in Denver! Let's go out for a beer!
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#52 HG Wells Oldies aytch gee 2569 posts 5.00 XCB

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 07:01 PM

I haven't read your blog before but I'm glad I read this entry. It is amazing how when something happens in your life that you constantly see that same something when before you never noticed it. I admit I kinda glanced over a few parts so excuse me. I am glad your brother is doing much better. What is TBI? Is it going to affect him in a serious capacity over his lifespan?

I'm glad you are out there enjoying life again. Mostly because I too was stuck in a rut for a while but realized how fortunate I was. It's always good to have family.

There's probably more I should've commented on but I really did skip a few parts. Sorry.
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#53 Wylde Ancient One Supertramp 4061 posts 9.00 XCB

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 12:05 AM

Surprised this hasn't been shut down and that I'm not evicted yet....Ah well..


Blah blah blah, lot's of crazy stuff happens all the time..it's late so I'll explain another time...

One thing of note is that I'm working on my running skills and doing some half marathons. This is all in an effort to make the qualification time to run in the Boston Marathon '14. I have two opportunities to do it in and I've been keeping a good pace so hopes are high. I suppose even if I don't qualify then I'll still make the trip to be there...

Another interesting factoid of me is that I went all ape shit on this Rosetta Stone deal and am now in progress of learning many new languages..Starting with Spanish (Spain) and then working through French afterwards, I understand enough German to get by but I wouldn't mind revisiting that language eventually. This is all for the eventual goal of going overseas and spending much time traversing the history there. I really wish to walk El Camino de Santiago at some point. Also to run with the bulls and follow the former paths of Hemingway, I think it would be quite an enlightening trip. I've also added a new milestone to my Bucket List to accomplish and that is to thru-walk the Triple Crown here in the states, which is the Appalachian Trail, the Pacific Crest Trail, and the Continental Divide Trail...sadly this all costs a lot of money (which is absolutely absurd) and time (which I'm more than willing to spend) so baby steps are in order at this point...

I invested some money towards a new kayak and it's the greatest thing since everything. It's peaceful to go down rivers alone for hours on end on your personal little kayak. I'm in plans for a 4-day weekend trip in which I'll camp on the shore as I go down the Missouri river and into the mighty Mississippi river. A good friend told me while down in Texas that I would need to kayak through the Snake River in the Pacific northwest sometime so that's also been added to the Bucket List. I hope I can meet again with this friend and the two of us can go on that journey together..And of course, ultimately I'd like to go down the Colorado, but I see myself doing it illegally because of all the ridiculous rules that come about while kayaking down it.

That's a good enough update for now. Bye.
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#54 DarkBlaze557 Retired Administrator :/ 12822 posts 100.00 XCB

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 09:15 PM

I learned to kayak a couple of years ago in college and it's so much fun!

If you're going on that long of a trip, though, you should take a partner for safety reasons. If you flip the kayak and hit your head or something, you need someone there to help you. Especially on the longer trips. Capsizing a kayak is pretty common, and you should be able to flip yourself back up most of the time, but you could go down in a bad area and find a rock. I've seen it happen on several occasions, especially near spillways.

Anyway, be safe and have fun!
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#55 Wylde Ancient One Supertramp 4061 posts 9.00 XCB

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Posted 12 July 2015 - 09:00 AM

I'm somewhat shocked this thing still exists....


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#56 ShadowDemon Retired Administrator Retired Administrator of XeroCreative 4944 posts 3.00 XCB

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Posted 17 September 2015 - 08:53 PM

I miss you too. :)


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#57 Knowbie Ancient One Pro Orthodoxy 4066 posts 17.00 XCB

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Posted 20 September 2015 - 10:52 PM

I miss you too. :)

 

Nostalgia is by-and-large my favorite passion.


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